Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize