I just saw a hot homeless man
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize