My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
