yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize