my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
What a dumb baby whore.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
