wat bout pragnant strippers??
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we made out on top of his cat.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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