Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Green mimosas i think yes
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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