Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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