having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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