I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
