im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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