Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
