Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the day after is always just damage control
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
