Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he quoted the bible to break up with me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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