I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
