i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
