the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
