Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
