i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
