I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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