i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
