I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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