thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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