I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I didn't shave. On purpose
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
