please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize