yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
