girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
