If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize
