Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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