I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
