At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
