he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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