so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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