I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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