Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
