hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
is it fun? or sober?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
