the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
