don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
