He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
