its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize