when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
