Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
