So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
