Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We named our party play list daddy issues
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
