btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
