I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
