any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
