just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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