I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have already put on my inside pants.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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