ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
