you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
