well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
