I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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