I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
