Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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