We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
