dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
