ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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