there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
