we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
