oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize