I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
