As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
