he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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