So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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