If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
