you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
