It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
