he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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